iPhone 7 – Silenced!

Answering my own question from the previous post. Under Settings, I had to go to Sounds & Haptics, and turn off Vibrate on Silent. I will try this for a few weeks. It may take a while to get used to wondering what non-emergency things are going on while I’m happily dozing, etc.

As I write this, my old German Shepherd Dog is happily napping and tooting in her sleep. That might be an interesting sound for a ringtone. At least humorous. I digress.

P.S. – I had to look up Haptics, because I didn’t know what it means. Now I do. It’s new with the iPhone 7. Now I know why it doesn’t do any good to press the Home button harder. It doesn’t depress. It is aware of how I touch it. How many times I touch it, etc. I don’t think I want to know what happens if I turn System Haptics off. Doesn’t sound like a smart thing to do. Curiosity may get the better of me in a few weeks.

There are very few emergencies in our daily lives; my phone needs to be tamed

Okay, I know that is a weird title, but bear with me. I got a new phone a few weeks ago. An iPhone 7. Woohoo! Yea, me! Really, the only reasons I got it were because my children wanted to facetime with me, and every time I received a text message with an emoji or large picture, I couldn’t see anything. The message either said “No content” or “cannot open message.” My old phone — almost 5 years old — which wasn’t a smartphone by definition, still worked great. I miss it.

On to my knowledge of the day. There are very few things in our day that require our immediate attention when it comes to our smartphones. Yet, my new smartphone insists on notifying me of every little thing with an annoying vibration. I’ve tried to turn most notifications off, but I have not succeeded. Yet. And, since I use my phone as an alarm clock, it is usually nearby when I sleep. Even when I turn the switch on the side “off” to turn off the ringer, it still vibrates. I’m sure there is a way to turn that off, too. When I get around to it.

Does it make your day when you are awakened by a text message asking you a question that you could really wait all day to deal with? But, the person sending the message gets anxious when you don’t immediately respond. And they send another message a few minutes later, and then another one after that. Soon they panic. It wasn’t a life-threatening emergency, but they just had to have an immediate answer. Or they send you a text message saying that they sent you an email, “Have you read the email I sent yet?” Even more annoying. I will get to it. When have I ever dropped the ball?

You don’t have to be asleep for this to be annoying. I’m a night person, so chances are I’m not going to be awake adequately at 9 a.m. to get to your question. And now you’ve interrupted my hard-fought sleep pattern. Shame on you. Even if I weren’t asleep, it can still be annoying. Maybe I’m in the middle of a good book. Maybe I’m watching a good movie. Maybe I’m spending time with my children or non-significant other. Maybe I’m cooking. Maybe I’m driving. Unless one of my children is being admitted to the hospital with a life-threatening emergency, you are just being annoying.

As I write this blog entry, my phone has vibrated next to me at least 5 times. Probably trying to tell me I have new email. Or a text I haven’t read. Because, yes, it will keep vibrating until I actually open your text. It’s not News, because I turned off the annoying News notifications last week.

My task for today is to delve into my phone and start turning off notifications. I’m still in the process of taking my time back. Because even if the most exciting part of my day is the last 2 hours of my sleep pattern, it is mine and it shouldn’t be interrupted.

Think about that the next time you are having lunch with a friend whom you haven’t seen in a long time and your phone or their phone keeps vibrating off its hinges. I know, they don’t have hinges anymore. Your friend will value your friendship more if you will turn off the ringer AND the vibration. Better yet, after you have emasculated your phone, put it out of sight, but please try to remember where you put it. Because those darned things can be even more annoying when you can’t find them!

If you have children, put your phone away and spend time with them. You took them to the park? Then put your phone away and play with them. You’re at the pool. Put your phone away and swim with them. Or at least keep an eye on them so they don’t drown. You’re at a signal light? Put your phone away so I don’t have to sit at that left-turn signal one more time.

Oh, there it goes again! Have a great day!

Do you know how to communicate with an introvert?

Do you know how to communicate with an introvert? I recently had an experience that got me thinking about how people communicate with me and how I communicate with them. I am an introvert, but I have been told by some that I am not. I think I know whether or not I’m an introvert. I will sit in a group and be completely silent until I feel comfortable enough to speak. If I don’t become comfortable, I won’t share in words what I am thinking. There must be a level of trust. The problem comes when I become comfortable with a person or group and I talk TOO much. Then I can come across as someone who won’t shut up or monopolizes conversation. Before you tell an introvert that they are talking too much, think again. Is that really the best way to tell him/her that you really just want to get a word in edgewise? Maybe you could just say “excuse me” or hold up a “time out” signal with your hands. Acknowledge that you may not have seen this friend/introvert in a long time and they just want to talk. Keep in mind that telling them they talk too much may cause them to lose a level of trust with you that may have been hard to attain for this person. And if they are a highly sensitive person (yes, that is a thing), they may shut down on you altogether. You may have just squashed their feelings along with their trust in you.

I’m an introvert and a highly sensitive person. I don’t speak with a lot of adults in a typical week. However, I teach very young children and often must allow them to speak before I can begin a music class with them. Sometimes a child will open up to me the most random or serious of topics (to them). Sometimes I may be the only person in their world/week who will actually listen to them. They may have a lot of words they need to get out because other grown-ups in their life just don’t take the time to engage them. Then, rather than telling them they talk too much (because I want to keep their trust), I tell them we must have our music class because time is limited and their parents paid for them to be in music class. With an adult, this tactic can also be used. That is, if your time is limited. I cannot stress enough that you think about situational factors: How long has it been since this person has seen you? How long has it been since you had a conversation with this person of any kind? Is it a topic the person seems to have a passion for? Has this person gone through a lot of trouble and scheduling to actually be in your presence? Have they traveled a great distance? How long will it be before you are again in their presence and have an opportunity to have a conversation with them?

When I spend time with my best friend, we often haven’t talked much for weeks or even a month or so. Sometimes I just have to let her talk. And I will, of course, talk, too. But then when I leave to go home (or vice versa), I realize I haven’t talked about anything that I really wanted to talk to her about. Important stuff. Oh well. She needed to talk. I’ll survive. I tell myself we’ll talk about my stuff the next time or the next phone conversation. Sometimes we do, sometimes we don’t. Most often we don’t. Because I forget by then. But just being in her presence and talking about “stuff” is good. We aren’t trying to solve world peace. At the end of the day, we are best friends, and best friends listen. And sometimes best friends let you get a word in edgewise. And sometimes you have to gently remind that friend that you really have something you want or need to talk about, too.

In today’s culture, we often overlook the fact that not everyone communicates well in 140 character tweets. Respect that you may be in the presence of an introvert. If you can’t give a person a few minutes of your time, even if you think the person is monopolizing the conversation, maybe you need to look inward. Think about the questions above. Think about relationships important to you. If this person is just interfering with your day and you have better things to do, excuse yourself politely and go do something else. If this person is someone who is important to you or someone important in your life, maybe it would be good to give them the time of day.

I’ve been told by a few people in my life/career that I should listen more. I feel like I have done that. My sister told me once that I monopolize the conversation on the phone and she doesn’t get to talk. Acknowledging that, sometimes I just call her with the specific intent of just allowing her to talk. But then she doesn’t talk. That’s frustrating. I wouldn’t have gotten so good at tech support if I didn’t listen well. With that often comes a need to ask a lot of questions. Sometimes that can feel like interrogation, and for me it was many times exhausting (being an introvert). If I ask you a lot of questions, it’s about getting to an answer or resolution rather than any attempt to make you feel bad.

This post has gone on much longer than I intended, and if you read this far THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

If you excused yourself and went off to do something else, that’s okay, too. Have a great day!

 

For example,

I know how to easily get the metal part of the lightbulb out when the glass bulb breaks off… Which is quite frustrating. And I know how to fix almost every part of a toilet or simply replace it. And other random stuff like using a baby wipe to gently clean upholstery, using vinegar to clean glass the best even if it does smell. The smell goes away quickly. I have discovered that a cockroach will slow down a bit after being sprayed with vinegar. I don’t keep bug spray on hand. More next time…

To Catherine,

I’m starting this blog because you said I should share my thoughts with the world. I hope it is worth it and helps lots of people. I hope people will also ask questions that I can answer. If I can’t answer, I may know someone who can.

First blog post

This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.